


Unknown Components

by fairydustedtheory



Series: A Wolf and a Spark verse - Sterek Bingo 2020 [5]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek Hale, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Established Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, M/M, Mpreg, Spark Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:06:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24090292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairydustedtheory/pseuds/fairydustedtheory
Summary: Derek has been feeling a little off these days. It turns out that spending the alpha heat with a spark had unexpected consequences.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: A Wolf and a Spark verse - Sterek Bingo 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1709788
Comments: 17
Kudos: 361





	Unknown Components

**Author's Note:**

> Part of my Sterek Bingo 2020 oneshots. This is for the prompts Petnames, Insomnia and Baking. 
> 
> Proceed with caution if you're squeamish, check the notes at the end of the fic for potential triggers ?
> 
> If you knew me, you'd know how much I love mpreg fics. This was actually the first fic I wrote for bingo and the whole verse came to life after.
> 
> Please do not repost anywhere. 
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://fairydustedtheory.tumblr.com/tagged/plot%20twist%20:%20i%20write)
> 
> I hope you enjoy!!

"I don't know what's wrong with you, but you're moody, dude. More than usual. You're a little off these days." Scott told him one day, squinting his eyes as if trying to read between the lines of Derek's face.

Derek narrowed his eyes and just scoffed rubbing the back of his neck, not bothering to answer.

Derek's life had been off from the beginning if you asked him. It wasn't going to write a thesis about it, he was moving forward.

What was off with Derek these days was that he was alpha of a pack nobody seem to take seriously. They took themselves seriously enough and Derek knew deep down that the pack bonds were healthy and growing. But that fact wasn't enough for the neighbors.

Just a bunch of random bitten teenagers that's how they were described. With all the crap they dealt with in the past, one would think they would have quite a reputation. And yeah, they had, but it wasn't a good one. They deserved a little more credit than that, defeating monsters and threats against humanity. But nope.

It was almost like Derek didn't even exist because he was almost thirty and a born wolf, but that didn't change anything about what was said about them. Just a bunch of random bitten teenagers, that was all they were. Even if they weren't exactly teenagers anymore. More on the side of barely legal adults.

Stiles liked to call himself an adult from the top of his twenty three years. 

They had all actually managed to turn twenty one without dying. That was a success. Derek couldn't believe that they managed to not screw up too badly. 

The other thing was that he was not even the only alpha. He was now co-alpha with Scott. Scott who had been a werewolf for what seemed like less than five minutes sometimes.

Derek couldn't genuinely belittle Scott though. He was a good alpha, with the true alpha powers and also his kindness. He was a good leader and had instincts. He just lacked the generational knowledge needed to be exactly ready to be an alpha. To be frank, Derek didn't have that either. That's how the co-alpha title came about. They were stronger together. There was no doubt about it, and the whole pack needed both of them.

Strength was needed when Peter in all his perennial state of living or undead was not really helping in any way. Only spiritual guide in what seemed to be sexual affairs and not much else, he kept messing around with the wrong crowd and bringing them trouble.

In all fairness, Derek deserved to be moody sometimes. So, Derek shrugged it off.

-

He forgot about it until a week later and Scott's voice came resonating in his mind again. _You're a little off these days._

Derek woke up, his whole body vibrating with unease. He felt dizzy like maybe he had been poisoned with wolfsbane, and the sick feeling was traveling his whole body. The world felt like an attack. Every smell, every brush of fabric against his skin, everything felt more than a little off.

But there was nothing going on these days.

Nothing bad had happened in a couple of months, not since December when Peter had ran back home shouting for backup after an unfortunate one night stand gone wrong. Peter should know better than go fuck around with several daughters of the same alpha neighbor but apparently making the same mistake once, twice and even three times wasn't lesson enough. He had that nice way of disappearing and coming back, remembering there was a pack here that he liked to call his own but only when that served him. Of course, once trouble was on the territory and trouble was angry and attacking innocents, the pack had no real choice but to help. In short, Peter was a pain.

But this, right here, couldn't be Peter's fault.

He went down to the kitchen thinking maybe he should eat something but again, the whole world felt like an attack.

Isaac was there sitting at the kitchen table crunching on a spoonful of Lucky Charms. Stiles had insisted, "Babe, any good luck charms should be added onto our daily lives and werewolves don't even care about sugar levels, do they ?"

The sound and the smell of the kitchen with the _too sweet, too processed, too Isaac, too everything_ stench was unbearable.

Derek felt faint. He couldn't let himself faint though, Stiles would never let him live it down and would call him his little Victorian fainter for all eternity if Derek ever let himself faint in front of anyone without it being cause by blunt force trauma to the head. 

"You okay ?" Isaac turned to him absentmindedly, still crunching on his cereals. 

Derek walked off and went back to his room without a word. He never wanted to leave his bed. He hid his face under the covers where all he could smell was his scent mixed with Stiles'. He wanted to bury himself in it. Forget anything else existed. Forget he even existed.

"Hey, Mr Wolf," Stiles said walking in sometime in the afternoon, probably done with work for the day already. He sounded nervous, concerned. One of the betas had probably spilled the beans and called him to say that something was up with Derek. Derek hated it. "Can you tell me what's wrong ?"

Derek felt the bed dip where Stiles came to sit next to him.

"I don't know." Derek croaked.

He felt Stiles' fingers brush against his hair, rub at his scalp. That was a sure way to make Derek relax. The feeling of Stiles' fingers anywhere on him always had the power to make Derek's world come into focus. As if Derek's world was held in the palm of Stiles' hands and nowhere else.

"I thought werewolves didn't get sick. I've never seen you sick before. Any of you. Not from natural causes at least." Stiles whispered like he didn't want to jinx their little balance of a life.

It was far too soon to face another threat, they usually spent a few months at a time without any encounter. And it was especially too soon for a threat that would use such sneaky tactics.

"We don't. And certainly not alphas." Derek turned to him.

Stiles tilted his head, finally meeting his eyes. "It's very infuriating during flu season when I'm the only one who feels like dying and all of you wolfiness are fresh as daisies." 

Derek could smell Stiles' scent so much better from outside the covers, he pushed his nose against Stiles' wrist, inhaling deeply. He didn't even realize he was moaning.

 _"_ _Dude."_ Stiles smiled.

"You smell good." Derek said sincerely. "You can never leave this room."

"Am I being kidnapped?" Stiles laughed. "Kept against my will?"

"hmm-hmm..." Derek took another sniff of Stiles' wrist. He wasn't even trying to be discreet anymore, if he ever had been.

"Well, alright, that's certainly a proposition I have to consider." Stiles examined his face, a hand cupping at Derek's jaw, thumb brushing his cheek.

"You make the world a little less terrible." Derek confessed leaning into the touch. He could never say this enough. His life had changed for the better when Stiles walked into it, that was fact.

"Aw sweetheart, you're the light of my life too !" Stiles joked.

Derek grumbled something unintelligible. He wasn't even clear on what he wanted to answer to that. Sometimes Stiles couldn't take a word seriously. There was no use arguing. 

"Do I look that terrible ?" He said instead. 

"Yeah." Stiles breathed. "Still beautiful, but terrible. Not quite _dying_ terrible, but definitely _I need to research this_ terrible."

Oh that didn't sound good if Stiles was already ready to jump into research mode.

Derek pushed himself up on his elbows and groaned. Just that tiny little effort and he already felt like that was too much. His head was spinning. Derek buried his face into Stiles' neck and took a deep breath. Hmm yes, that was so much better. Derek didn't want to think about research or even what could possibly be wrong with him, he just wanted to stay there, face tucked into Stiles' neck and breathe.

"Listen, Sniffer, it's not that I don't think being your personal aromatherapy inhaler wouldn't be a great career path or whatever, but you'll have to admit this is a little weird, even for us. I like you all soft and compliant, you know how much I do." Stiles bit back a smile. "But I do feel like I shouldn't find this sexy when you're closer to a crumbled muffin than a stud muffin."

Derek huffed. Stiles grabbed his face and pulled him in close for a kiss.

"Don't." Derek said weakly. "We don't know what I have."

He never had been much of a germophobe, but then again he had never had to care about germs before, and he'd be damned if he ever transmitted anything to Stiles or to anyone if it could be prevented.

"You have me." Stiles closed the gap between them for a chaste kiss that turned into another one a little less chaste when Stiles' tongue sneaked into his mouth and Derek was moaning again. "Whatever this might be." Stiles breathed against Derek's mouth. "I'm pretty sure this is a werewolf thing, and not a human thing. No way I'm ever gonna stop kissing you, dude, just no way." He said with another peck on Derek's lips before adding. "But just stay clear of the pack while I figure this out, alright ?"

"Alrigh'." Derek's brain was too fried to even form words.

"I'll go to Deaton's. Not that he's ever any real help, that cryptic son of a bitch, but I'll see what I can get out of him and what he's not willing to talk about. And I'll research on that." He said, his hand on Derek’s shoulder. He looked Derek right in the eyes, before adding more softly, "Get some rest."

Stiles pushed Derek back onto the mattress, cradling his head until it touched the pillow. Derek closed his eyes and was out in a second. He didn't even register Stiles leaving the room.

-

A couple of weeks passed and they were nowhere in terms of determining what could possibly make Derek feel this weak and trembling with wrongness.

On his way to the bathroom one time, Boyd told him he smelled funny. Well, yes Derek hadn't showered in a few days, that was exactly why he was going to the bathroom to begin with. Betas, ugh. They could be so dense and uninviting.

Derek wondered again why he had thought it was a good idea to build a house for all of them. A pack house, if not a family house. It had been an idea, it sounded great at the time but then, sometimes, especially these days when Derek wanted to be left alone, well, it didn't seem all that great. He wasn't alone, ever. 

Once he was deliberately trying to avoid any of them by going to grab some food (food he could barely stomach but forced himself to eat anyway) in the middle of the night, Erica bumped into him having midnight munchies and she told him his heart sounded weird. She said that as she was stuffing her face with these vegetable chips Stiles had made in the air-fryer that day. Derek felt a wave of disgust and nausea seeing her and mostly hearing her chew so loudly.

But shit, Derek knew his heart sounded wrong. It had been a while, he just didn't want to admit it to himself.

He hadn't told Stiles, he didn't want the younger man to worry. He was already looking everywhere. Several trips to Deaton's to force him to call other emissaries, researching in books and on the dark web, everything Stiles knew how to do, he was doing. Derek couldn't put anything more on his plate. Stiles would search this thing to death if no one was here to stop him. Derek wouldn't just stand by and be the cause of his burn out.

None of the symptoms they described seem to lead to anything concrete. If Derek was human, sure, there would have been tests to run, a diagnosis and any sort of medication. But as an alpha werewolf ? That was a different story, he had to rely on his healing.

One thing they were almost positive about was that there was no poisoning involved. It was one thing crossed off the list of possibilities, and that meant no one else was getting sick. Stiles had checked and rechecked everything around the house, in the food. He used some spells to check for black magic. There was nothing to be found. They were not under attack.

Yet, Derek didn't seem to get better. He was even getting worse if that was possible. His body rejecting any sort of food and going day by day with more shivers and dizziness, he could barely stand up or even sit up on the bed sometimes.

And Derek knew, he felt it every time Stiles slipped into their bed at night, he knew Stiles was starting to worry. Really worry.

"I'm never going to let you die on me." Stiles whispered into the darkness one night, when he thought Derek had already fallen asleep.

-

It took another week of dreadful agony, but suddenly, Derek didn't feel that weak anymore. One morning he woke up and he was hungry. His stomach demanded food. He was starving. And starving the weirdest thing. He could have dreamed about a burger or pizza but no. He had a striking need for sardines in mustard sauce. It was either that or going hunting for deer and sink his teeth into the still warm flesh. He decided to go for the can of fish, not really sure he was up for the whole killing an animal thing right this second. Plus, it wasn't hunting season. 

He sneaked out of the house, not bothering changing his clothes, barely stopping to put some shoes on. He took his car to drive to the 24 hour grocery store in town and buy a couple of cans and some bread to go along with it. Unbothered by the strange looks the cashier threw his way, he went to eat them on a bench in the park at 6AM surrounded by pigeons. 

It was delicious, so good he almost choked wanting to put too much in his mouth. He almost reminded himself of Stiles. That was saying something. Maybe Stiles' eating habits were rubbing off on him a little.

He didn't even want to analyze what was going on. He hadn't been able to stomach any food in weeks. He was starving and wished he could eat for a whole week without ever stopping. 

-

Derek was feeling better, but with his hunger came another kind of hunger. Lust. So much lust. He felt like he was in heat, but he couldn't be. Heat was only once a year and it had been a couple of months ago. There was no way this was his heat. 

He had spent the whole night tossing and turning, mind filled with images of Stiles, with the sensation of their skins burning against one another, writhing with need for it.

He went to take a cold shower at 4AM not knowing what else to do with himself. He didn't want to wake Stiles up. It felt selfish to wake him up for that, when he was barely sleeping enough hours each night as it was. 

"Are you okay ?" Stiles asked as Derek walked back into the bedroom. Oh God, Derek was still burning. The shower had been utterly useless. And now Stiles was awake.

"Yeah." Derek took the few big strides separating him from where Stiles stood getting dressed. "You smell so good." He said, burying his face in Stiles' hair, right above his temple.

"Easy Tiger." Stiles smiled as Derek slipped a hand under the shirt he had just pulled over his head, hand twisting the material out of the way for his fingers to brush at Stiles' bare skin.

"I want you." Derek breathed, overwhelmed by everything that was Stiles, the warmth of his body, the brightness of his eyes, that way he had of brushing his knuckles against Derek's neck in a caress that was as sweet as it was demanding. "I want you to fuck me." He blurted out. He was only this blunt when he was in heat. Why was he this way now ? Not that he wouldn't want that all year long but still the yearning was overwhelming, the need overpowering anything else. "Fuck me good, the way you do."

"Oh God," Stiles startled at the words, blinking with a little shake of his head to refocus. "Are you even up for that ? You're barely getting your strength back."

Derek could feel the shivers running through Stiles. He wanted more. Derek nodded. It had been weeks, weeks of him feeling like shit, weeks of Stiles cuddling him and comforting him but not _touching_ him. Derek gave a more vigorous nod and leaned down to kiss Stiles, tongue slipping in his mouth, all but moaning at the thought alone of having him in bed naked. Painful how much he needed that.

Stiles pushed him back to the bed and took his sweet time prepping him until Derek was all but begging for him to just get on with it, goddammit Stiles.

Derek felt better that way, enveloped by everything that was Stiles, hot and wet kisses on his shoulder blades and down his spine.

Stiles only called him Derek when they were like this. Just a succession of curses and _Derek_ and the sweet sweet sounds only Stiles knew how to do. Derek's whole world could revolve around just this, just moments like this.

But Derek's heart was still beating funny, and there was a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

"You're not back to normal, are you ?" Stiles asked, fingers tracing abstract patterns up and down Derek's arm where it was curled around his waist.

"No." Derek said sadly in the crook of Stiles' neck.

-

Derek went to Deaton's without telling anyone. Not telling Stiles. He didn't have to lie or hide it. He just drove there one morning when Stiles was at work. He didn't want to say anything, just because there was nothing to tell. There couldn't be. 

He didn't know what was happening. All he knew was that something in Derek's stomach felt wrong. Very wrong.

The thoughts in his head were getting more insane by the second. 

"I think I have a problem." Derek said gravely as a way of greeting as he stepped in the clinic. He faltered just slightly at the crushing stench of old pet and disease.

"I am aware. Your mate has been here more time than I can count." Deaton didn't even glance at him, busying himself with whatever he pretended to be doing with his paperwork. 

"I need you to check me. Check my body. Tell me I'm imagining things." Derek sounded a little desperate and he didn't even care. He was desperate. He was even freaking out a little bit. 

Deaton turned slowly to him then with that unreadable expression he often had on his face. Stiles would rant about that expression if he was here. Derek wished he was here. He regretted not having talked to him about this in the morning, wished he would have waited for Stiles to come home from the precinct after work. But he was here now and he wanted answers.

"Imagining what exactly ?" Deaton sounded almost interested. Not quite though, Deaton was very rarely invested in the pack's affairs. He only stayed in touch with them because Scott was his employee and his protege. 

"Something that should be impossible." Derek frowned. He really was losing his mind now thinking that it could be what it thought it could be. It just couldn't be. No way.

Deaton raised an eyebrow. God, Derek really couldn't stand that guy.

"Well, Derek, congratulations." Deaton said with a stern expression. "I think you defied the laws of everything."

Deaton had listened and pressed on Derek's abdomen and measured it with measuring tape from top to bottom and made all sorts of facial expressions and hmm noises. Derek couldn't take it anymore.

"What have you found out ?" Derek pulled his shirt back on, feeling self-conscious about his body maybe for the first time ever in his life. Feeling he needed to hide it, protect it like a secret.

"You're pregnant." Deaton said matter-of-factly as he turned towards the cabinet at the back of the room, like he had just finished examining one of his dog clients. Like this was natural.

"What ? What does this mean ?"

"You do know the meaning of that word, don't you?" Deaton crossed his arms.

Derek rolled his eyes, with a very audible sigh. 

"That's impossible. You must be mistaken. I cannot be pregnant." Derek said between gritted teeth. He couldn't contain the faint growl coming with his words. He shook his head and let his back lean against the exam table for support.

"Isn't that what you meant when you said you were imagining things ? The fetus must be moving by now." Deaton replied ignoring Derek's show of irritation.

"Yes. But I'm male, I-" Derek stopped. The fetus ? Moving ? That was a thing moving he was feeling ? Shit, now he was really freaking out.

"I supposed Stiles would have mentioned any magical encounter, right ?" Deaton asked as if nothing about this conversation was absolutely devastatingly insane.

"Yeah, there's nothing that I can think of."

"Well, that crosses out the question of what."

"What what?"

"What could be growing inside of you."

"I don't understand." Derek said. Better be honest, it wasn't the time to have an ego and push Deaton's buttons. They could barely stand each other as it was. Derek needed clear answers.

"You're an alpha." Deaton explained. It was manifestly not the time for clear answers.

Derek rolled his eyes, more at himself for hoping he could get anything out of coming here than at anything else.

"What does this have to do with anything ?" He shrugged somewhat self-deprecating, somewhat defeated. 

"You do know about an alpha's mating cycles, right ?" Deaton eyed him suspiciously as he would look at someone too stupid for this Earth.

"Yes. I'm not helpless." Derek crossed his arms over his chest defensively.

"Yet, you were never meant to be an alpha, so the knowledge hasn't been passed down to you. I should have known."

Derek started getting angry now. Who exactly Deaton thought he was? It was one thing to be the one thinking these things, it was another to be blatantly relegated to second-class subpar alpha by a retired emissary. "We managed just fine until now." 

It was true, they were doing everything right. They were being careful. They were aware of everything the alpha heat was about. They studied everything as a pack. They learned. It had been years, they had managed everything on their own. It was a little late for Deaton to come and think he might have known better.

Deaton's tone changed into something more concerned when he said, "What about Scott ? What does he know about his heat ?"

Derek huffed out in annoyance, managed to not jump at the vet's throat but instead replied, "He knows he has to be careful with Allison. Make sure she's willing."

Deaton squinted his eyes at Derek. "Use protection ?"

"Of course!" 

"And you ?" The question came out all naturally out of Deaton, it all made Derek's gut make an unpleasant flip.

"It's not the same." He frowned. His stomach dropped like a stone through water.

"How so ?"

"Because there's no need, I - when I'm in heat, I'm -" Derek stuttered. 

He was getting flustered now. He couldn't tell someone, especially not Deaton, about his sex life with Stiles. He couldn't tell anyone about how it felt to be taken and kept and absolutely gone on this young man. How every touch of his fingertips was able to change Derek's world, and that it had been the case since he had been just a kid all sarcasm and gangly limbs. How Derek's heart had never stood a chance.

"When was your last heat ?"

"January."

"And the symptoms started in February." Deaton said nodding. This equation seemed to make perfect sense to him.

"But I'm male." Derek knew it wasn't a counter argument to all the physical evidence, he still tried.

"You're an alpha. And your mate is a spark. Anything is possible."

-

"What ?! Dude, sorry to burst your bubble, but you're not equipped for that ! Deaton must have smoked some toxic mushrooms or something, there's no way !" Stiles blurted out, laughing more than a little hysterically. "If it's a joke, it isn’t very funny. He probably thinks he's hilarious but news flash, he's so not!"

Yeah that was exactly the reaction Derek had expected. It wasn't funny no. Not in the slightest. It was unbelievable even to them. Who could blame Stiles, Derek himself had reacted the same way. Laughter excluded as Derek didn't feel like laughing at all. He could hardly believe it himself, and he was the one feeling a flutter of life in his lower abdomen. So how could Stiles believe it?

"Stiles. If it's not yours then it's an alien." Derek said, rubbing a hand down his face. "Because it can't be from our fight in December, and not from the time before that. We haven't met any faes in... I can't even remember the last time we met anything magical. I honestly don't see a random pack of werewolves trying to get our territory, pull a trick like this out of their hat. They just think they can get us because even I can admit the Hale-McCall pack means shit in the whole werewolf community. Werewolves don't go about throwing magic tricks when they want to kill someone. It's not a magic trick." Derek was looking at Stiles who was pacing back and forth in the living room.

"No it's not." Stiles conceded as he scratched the back of his neck all the way up to mess with his hair leaving them stuck out in all directions."I'd have felt it if it was a magic trick."

"But there's definitely something growing in me." Derek's nose flared as he exhaled loudly. He couldn't believe he was saying these words. But he knew that was the truth. He had known it ever since the morning he first felt it, felt the movement. 

"God, I know. I mean, your abs -" Stiles tried to find his words, all hand gestures and mouth agape for a second, the way Derek always wanted to grab and kiss. "You've been all bloaty and soft skin and - I liked it. I didn't -"

Derek smiled despite himself at Stiles getting a little flustered at the idea of commenting on Derek's weight gain. He hadn't actually gained weight, but bloaty was a good enough description. His body had been preparing a comfortable little room for something to live in.

"I know. It wouldn't have changed anything to know earlier. It's done. Deaton said that all the measurements seem to indicate it's good, it's _healthy._ " Derek shrugged, trying hard to look nonchalant when all he could feel was that the Earth was turning in reverse or upside down or just not exactly right, but maybe not exactly wrong either.

"But how? I mean yeah I guess weirder things have happened to us. I mean, I'm not sure, this is pretty fucking weird. But _how?"_ Stiles exclaimed arms outstretched all the way to his fingers.

"The natural way apparently." Derek deadpanned.

"Man, I think Deaton needs to revise his sex ed manuals. This is not the natural way !"

Derek sighed. "Just something about the heat cycle and the cycle of the moon and your spark. And our will, I guess. Our desire."

" _Fuck._ It's the spark." Stiles stopped moving, completely still, eyes fixed on Derek. "It's me. I did this."

"Stiles." Derek tried to counter. Oh no, everything would feel so much worse if Stiles started blaming himself.

"I did! I pretend like I know about my spark but I control shit most of the time. I can do some nice little spells and do them right, but that one in December I was a little out of my depth, you know that. It turned out alright but it did something to me, it untangled something. Nothing bad really but the spark is a little bit brighter now."

"I know."

"And that whole week, God, that whole week." Stiles' cheeks were turning bright pink. "I kept thinking about what it would feel like to be _your_ _alpha._ To be the one able to do that. Do it with the knot and everything I researched. Everything I warned Scott about."

"Stiles." Derek had shivers running all over him hearing Stiles say it so simply, so genuinely. He knew it was true, he felt the same exact way. But they were not in the heat of the moment, they were not in bed letting their deepest desires sneak out of their mouth being too busy feeling them. They were only there in their living room and Stiles could say it just like that, just a simple truth.

"I wanted it." Stiles continued, eyes wild. "Everything it would mean if I was to fill you up like that. I thought about it, I thought about it constantly as I was fucking you and you were so desperate for it and I was so desperate for it too and _fuck._ I did that ?" He swallowed hard around the small tremor in his voice.

"Both of us."

Derek knew it had to be from the both of them. Yes, the spark had something to do with it, and yes, the moon cycle too maybe if Deaton was to be believed. But there was definitely something about his heat and all the hormonal changes that brought on and what it actually meant to be an alpha werewolf in heat.

Really, it was a mating call, they were destined to breed, to procreate, to finish that week being full of the future. 

Werewolves, they didn't have babies like humans did. It wasn't a monthly thing-all year round festivity. Werewolves had pups as a result of the heat, once a year. And it was all the more powerful when shared with their mate. It wasn't hit and miss and try again, it was a certitude. It was animalistic, it was raw and pure desire. 

He also knew, yes, how desperate for it he was, how much he begged for it.

He was always the one getting fucked during heat. Derek thought it best, no he _knew_ intrinsically that he couldn't be trusted the other way around. Not in heat, not when he was this far gone. He had too little experience. He had only been an alpha for a few years and with Stiles for a little over two. Two. Yes, the alpha in him wanted to take Stiles and own him while in heat, it was a bone deep need, but not after only two cycles, Derek wouldn't let that happen, wouldn't risk it.

So, Derek begged and said one too many things and all of these needs and all of these desires were all true. Because every time he felt Stiles thrust into him with all the force and determination he could muster and every time Stiles' fingers intertwined with his own and squeezed as hard as Stiles' human muscles could manage, and every time Stiles answered every _please_ and _I need_ from Derek with a _yes_ _Derek_ and _I'll give it to you_ and _everything you_ _want_ and _I love you,_ Derek was just a little more Stiles', absolutely and utterly his. Absolutely and utterly gone.

Derek remembered then what it felt like when Stiles finally came, biting at his shoulder in a gesture that was definitely alpha and what it felt like to have Stiles' hand coaxing until Derek came too and to hear him say _I'll give you everything, everything_. Derek remembered the warmth of Stiles and his own claws out ripping the thin cotton material the bed sheets. Derek had partially wolfed out and Stiles had been glowing when he let himself fall back on the bed next to him. Had Stiles' spark been glowing the whole time?

"Both of us ?" Stiles asked tentatively.

"Stiles, you know it wasn't just the heat talking. You know how much I want, with you." Derek said, barely a whisper.

Stiles worried his lower lip between his teeth a minute. "Yeah... same."

"It's not just the spark. It's the whole equation of you and me and all the other unknown components."

Stiles nodded slowly, keeping himself in check to not freak out too much. "What's gonna happen ? Are you going to be popping out a small litter of pups ?"

"There's just one heartbeat." Derek said, and his heart clenched a little like he finally let himself grasp the concept of it all. 

"One heartbeat." Stiles repeated as he looked straight at him. The reality of it hitting him just then too.

"Yeah..." Derek breathed out. 

They stayed silent a moment, just focused on breathing. 

Derek inhale sharply before letting the air out slow and steady before saying, "And it's probably not gonna be as easy as a pop. It's probably gonna be messy. Deaton will have to cut me open and- hope for the best."

"Right." 

"Are you okay with all of this ?" Derek didn't exactly know what he expected out of this question. He felt he had to ask, even if there wasn't anything else to do but to accept it, with all the risks it entailed.

Stiles approached awkwardly, eyes fixed on Derek's body.

"As okay as I can be." Stiles said, a small crinkle between his brows that Derek wanted to kiss and make disappear. Before he could second guess himself, Derek grabbed him by the wrists and brought both his hands under his shirt, pressing his palm against the skin of his stomach. 

"Oh." Stiles breathed, fingers curling against the fluttering round of Derek’s belly. It was at that moment that Derek realized, watching Stiles' eyes wide with wonder, lips slightly parted, that yes there was a little someone dancing sweetly in there, responding to the brushes of their fingertips.

Stiles looked up at him, shivering. "I'm okay with you and me and this one heartbeat. I won't accept anything less."

"Okay."

-

Derek didn't need to be quarantined anymore. The other wolves in the pack weren't going to catch this. 

Stiles insisted on gathering them all in the living room for an official pack meeting. During the day. That was a sure way to make them all very nervous and anxious with the fear of yet another fight in the horizon. It wasn't so far off, their lives were about to change either way.

Stiles didn't speak, nor did Derek. They just stood there, watching their friends and pack come one by one in the room, acting dramatically like they were facing a death sentence of some kind.

They all stared, they sniffed the air. In a second, they were all over Derek trying to understand what was off with his scent, what was off with his heart. Until it just clicked.

Derek smelled of him and Stiles like always, but he also smelled of him and Stiles and _other._

Derek's heart was strong and steady like always but there was just one underlying faster fainter _thump_ _thump_ _thump._

And Stiles was hovering like a mother hen would over her baby chicks.

It all clicked and the whole house burst with noise and sounds of What ? How ? _What ?_ and Scott freaking out because holy shit heat wasn't a joke and he might never want to have sex with Allison again.

And suddenly Isaac shook his head and mumbled something about not having seen that coming and "honestly if I had to put my money on someone with a dick getting accidentally pregnant, I would have bet on Peter, man, with all the freaky stuff he gets himself into." 

The whole room filled with laughter. God, Peter was something but yeah, he had never pulled anything this freaky. At least not that Derek knew about. 

They all came over and asked if they could maybe touch Derek's belly. The curve of it, now that they finally saw it seemed unmistakable, and also so inviting as it peeked out of his clothes.

Derek let them. It was part of pack bonding for an expectant mother to let the other members come and greet the new addition. He wanted to warn them, to tell them to not get attached, that it could go terribly wrong, that nothing was sure. But he didn't have the heart to say it out loud. Didn't feel like he could break the mood. They deserved to enjoy it even for a short while.

-

He couldn't wear his leather jacket anymore, feeling too stiff and unaccommodating to his current state. He turned to stealing of Stiles' largest hoodie, the red one.

It was practical in the sense that it helped hide the curve of his body, so he allowed himself to go into town a couple of times. He went for a stroll but not much more, he didn't dare go in a store or anywhere where people might stop and really look. He didn't want to have to explain himself. 

The good thing about this hoodie was that it allowed him to casually touch without looking like a pregnant woman ostentatiously rubbing her bump. As days went by, he couldn’t keep his hands away from his belly, wanting to keep it warm and secured. Derek finally understood the feeling, he would never look at a pregnant woman rubbing her belly the same way.

He was hoping to be stealthy with it, wanting to not make it seem like he was getting attached, bonded, but he was always walking around with his hands tucked into the front pocket of Stiles' hoodie, rubbing soft pattern and feeling the response to his touch.

Stiles noticed of course. Derek caught his knowing eyes more than a few times. They never spoke of it.

-

The fast gestation pace told them it was going to be a wolf, a little pup. It was going fast, much quicker than with humans, in a matter of a few weeks, Derek would ready to pop.

Derek couldn't imagine what it would mean to have a pup, a born werewolf. It would change everything. Everything in their lives, and everything for the pack. They would be a real pack, one that was generational, steady, growing. The neighbors wouldn't treat them as a joke anymore, they would know the Hale-McCall pack was a real thing. It would change everything. It was frowned upon to attack a pack raising a pup, that would mean community retaliation to the assailants and that threat alone would be dissuasion enough. There would be peace.

Derek didn't want to imagine holding a little pup in his arms, one that would be a little of Stiles and a little of him all in one. Something that should be impossible. Derek had made peace with it, that the day they'd decide on starting their family, it would be through adoption or surrogacy. It hadn't mattered to him that they wouldn't share blood as they would certainly share love. And love meant everything. Yet here he was and all he could do was fight against the image of that one little pup in his belly and how much Derek wanted this family.

Derek couldn't help but imagine the pain of losing, having this hope ripped from him. Loving and inevitably being broken again.

Stiles had all his nesting instincts full on, researching cribs and mobiles and everything baby related.

Derek could have died every time he caught a glimpse of Stiles looking at him with so much love in his eyes and a little bit of terror underneath. He didn't buy any of the things he researched. There was no nursery ready. Nothing planned. Just ideas and so much desire.

They couldn't bring themselves to call it baby. They never said the word. _It_ didn't feel quite right either. They just didn't know how to make it not hurt, but they still tried.

"What about Shnookums ?" Erica asked from where she was sprawled on the couch with a magazine.

"Because a cat name in a wolf pack sounds like a great idea, thanks Erica !" Stiles rolled his eyes.

"What about Diles ? Derek-Stiles put together ?" Liam offered.

"I still vote for Mcnugget." Scott said. "Liam, you're supposed to be on my side. Two votes for Mcnugget."

"Could we not make it a food ? I'd always think about these two having sex when we eat." Boyd countered. "Why not just say pup ?"

"That'd be too practical for Stiles you know that." Isaac shrugged.

"Pup could work, that'd make Stiles, Pup Daddy." Derek smirked from the spot where he was listening in from the doorway.

They all laughed. Stiles choked on the bite of apple he was eating. What ? Derek too could play this game. It was good to make it a little lighter, the air around them didn't have to feel so thick all the time. Derek wanted to feel joy.

Stiles caught his gaze looking at him and his expression softened as they shared their understanding.

-

At night, when Stiles thought Derek was asleep, he scooted down the bed to let his face rest right in front of Derek's belly. Derek had been forced into the habit of trying to sleep on his side twisted around a pregnancy pillow Lydia had pragmatically bought for him. It was a real bump now, heavy. Derek couldn't sleep on his back anymore without feeling squished from the inside.

Stiles couldn’t sleep with all the fears and worries racing through his head. Derek knew he barely slept.

Stiles always spoke in his softest of voices, so low Derek barely heard him and the secrets he needed say. He never talked about it, letting Stiles have his little private moments hidden from the rest of the world. He just listened and let Stiles put his ear against his skin and marvel at it, saying things like "Hey, little fishy, are you nice and cozy ? That's a good little aquarium you got there. I hear you, I hear you swimming. Hello." 

It felt so gentle and loving, Derek could have cried.

Derek wasn't going to tell him he hadn't been able to sleep in weeks now. It had started around the full moon, Derek wanted to control the pull and not shift. He hadn't shifted, not even to beta form, since he had realized what was going on, not knowing what it could do. He was male and his body wasn't made for this, might not shift back right. Too risky. Not shifting, staying human would be fine on any given day but hormones and full moon didn't work well together it seemed. Derek had to battle with agitation and tension. Fighting all the jitters messed up his sleep beyond repair.

These days, it had become even worse with the added pregnant body struggle, he could barely manage to fall asleep an hour before needing to move his aching muscles and bones or go pee for the thousandth time that day. 

He just listened to Stiles speak, describe and question what their pup would maybe look like, the shape and color of his eyes, the slope of his tiny nose, the love they'd share. Derek just stayed there, not moving, and letting himself imagine too.

-

"God, I want this so bad." Stiles admitted one night as they were in bed just languidly kissing and touching.

Derek just nodded. He knew.

Stiles slipped his hand down Derek's chest to run over the curve of his belly and rest it there, caring. "I want to keep you two so bad."

"I know." Derek breathed before kissing his again. A little more desperately, just on the right side of too much.

"Ow !" Stiles startled when a strong kick hit just where he had his warm hand resting on Derek's stomach. "Keep it down, Backstreet Boy !" He chuckled.

"Or Spice Girl." Derek smiled. "Fifty-fifty."

Stiles' face shifted into something Derek knew too well. 

"What ? What do you know ?" Derek asked curiously. That was the face of Stiles trying to keep a secret but failing. 

"Nothing." Stiles pulled in his lips to hide a smile. "I didn't go about doing the math of probability, counting X and Y chromosomes or anything, although now that I think about it yes maybe that would end up being more inclined towards it, what with us both being XY and no party being XX... No, it's just. My spark feels it's – a boy. But I could be wrong."

Derek didn't have to hear Stiles' heart falter just slightly before saying. "You don't believe that."

"No, I don't. But still, I could be. Wrong." Stiles swallowed visibly. 

Derek knew that Stiles was not wrong, not just because the spark felt something but because he too had felt it, maybe it was the alpha's instincts or just _him._ And hearing it out loud was confirmation enough. He didn't need any high tech 3D ultrasound. He couldn't get one anyway, even if he had wanted to. It wouldn't go too well if they showed up to the hospital asking to see an OB-GYN for a pregnant male werewolf. They didn't need to make the news with some headline along the lines of "Ex murder suspect Derek Hale traumatizes the whole hospital staff." No, he didn't need to have proof to be sure.

"A little Backstreet Boy." Derek accepted, letting out a soft sigh.

"Or a little Foo Fighter." Stiles let himself smile this time.

"Or... I'm shit with band names. A little Rolling Stone ?"

"A little Beatle." Stiles grinned.

"I hope you know I'm not gonna follow you with this game."

"I know." Stiles chuckled lightly.

"We're having a boy ?" Derek's voice trembled, feeling his heart rate ratchet up.

"I think so." Stiles whispered, a little crinkle on a the forehead, eyes sparkling bright, a little watery. "Oh, fucking hormones !" He said before rubbing at his eyes.

"I'm the one with the hormones." Derek teased but his eyes were not dry either.

"You don't know that. We're in a very unconventional situation right now. I could have pregnancy hormones too. I don't see why not!" Stiles joked.

"Why not."

Stiles stayed silent a minute, his scent shifting to something more acidic. He swallowed hard, before saying, "Babe, it's too fast. I'm not gonna find anything on time."

"I know. But it's alright. Stiles, it's just a baby." Derek said, surprised at himself for even saying the word they had been tiptoeing around all this time. "It's not a surprise monster. It's just a baby. I can tell. It feels right. It feels so right."

"I know that."

"You'll have him. He's going to come out healthy." Derek was sure of that. It was almost painful how sure he was of that, how he could picture Stiles with him, cradling him, loving him.

Stiles closed his eyes to not let Derek see the tears, but Derek could smell them all over Stiles, all over himself too. "But I want you too. I want you to come out healthy too. I'm looking, I keep looking everywhere. I'm not finding anything that I could do, a spell or anything to protect you from this. I don't know how to make sure you'll be okay."

"We'll just have to believe it." 

Stiles huffed. "Since when has believing lead us to anything ?"

"I'd say since this." Derek gave him a tight smile, but missing nonchalance by a mile at least.

"Oh yeah, it's definitely the hormones turning you into a Namaste Master of Calm."

Derek shook his head, with a fond smile. "Believe with me." He said holding out a hand for Stiles to take. He squeezed tight as soon as Stiles' fingers met his. "Believe with me." He repeated. That was all he could do, all he could offer. He had nothing else.

And when Stiles' eyes flashed gold, Derek knew he did. He answered with a red flash of his eyes just for show. He wanted to believe they would be alright, all three of them. 

-

"You said you wanted cake, cravings and all. Listen, I'm ready to deliver, " Stiles shrugged, yawning still clearly half-asleep. "but you're going to help me. I'm not going to bake alone in the middle of the night by myself."

"You could have just gone to the store and buy me some." Derek rolled his eyes.

"No pregnant mate of mine is going to eat store-bought crap at 2AM. Come on, Cowboy, sit." Stiles said, a quirk on his lips at the way Derek walked these day.

The added weight made Derek waddle, his legs apart and chest tilted backward. His body was getting ready to give birth, apparently not having gotten the memo that there were some essential parts missing to this plan. Derek put his hand to his lower back, trying to support his spine as he walked.

Derek went to sit in one of their awfully uncomfortable kitchen chairs. He blinked at the light coming off from the fridge as Stiles took out the box of eggs.

His eyes were itchy, and he felt like he could sleep for a week. But he couldn't. He ached. He tried to hide it from Stiles, just kept his mouth in a tight line and his brow furrowed in a natural state now instead of showing off when he was irritated. It was nothing Derek couldn't handle. He had lived through worse things. Still, it wasn't good.

"Can you stir?" Stiles asked dropping a bowl in front of him. "We're doing a simple sheet cake, I'm not about to go and use the mixer in the middle night. We have grumpy housemates."

Derek closed his eyes a little longer than a blink, just trying to focus his breathing around the underlying pain. He could feel the kicks moving against his stretched and hard skin, moving his whole belly from side to side.

"Here, one cup of flour, half a cup of cane sugar." Stiles stepped around him, brushing his shoulders, massaging him tenderly as Derek measured and dropped the ingredients in the bowl. Derek was clearly doing a bad job at hiding his physical state. Stiles kissed the top of his head. "One fourth of cocoa powder."

Stiles was standing at his back, brushing his fingertips over Derek's body, his forearms and hands, as if they were reenacting the famous pottery scene from Ghost and Unchained Melody was about to play in the background, while Derek cracked an egg.

Derek let his head fall back against Stiles' chest, shifting on his chair, his body not able to sit more than a couple minutes these days. Stiles covered the side of his face with little butterfly kisses as he finished adding the other ingredients to the batter. 

"I'd offer you to lick the bowl but I'm don't think you're allowed to have raw eggs." Stiles said making a show of licking the whisk.

"You're awful," Derek didn't have much strength for comebacks.

"That's why you love me." 

"Not the only thing." Derek said, finding it in himself to grab Stiles' arm and pull him enough for Stiles to lean down and let Derek kiss him, all tongue licking, if not a bowl, the inside of Stiles' mouth. 

Stiles moaned, teasing. Derek caught his hand as he was dipping two fingers into the batter.

"Oh no. You're not doing that." Derek warned.

"I wasn't planning on it." Stiles replied cheekily. Derek let go of his hand and sure enough, Stiles dragged his fingers gently across the skin of Derek's throat. "or maybe I was."

"That's not what I meant when I said I was craving cake." Derek deadpanned, fighting the smile and the moan wanting to escape him as Stiles leaned down to lick, the wet heat of his tongue traveling over Derek's pulse point.

They ended up kissing, cake craving forgotten for a while, until Stiles sighed and finally straightened to stretch his back, looking old in the dim kitchen light, older than he ever had.

"Sorry for keeping you awake." Derek apologized, looking up at the puffy and painfully dark shadows under Stiles' bloodshot eyes. 

"You and I both know, I don't sleep. It's not anyone's fault."

"I'm still sorry," was all Derek found to say.

They were both too unsettled by everything, the anxiety of time passing, the days turning into nights turning into more days. They were both so fatigued.

It would soon be over though, whatever that meant.

"How long until I have cake?" Derek muttered.

"Not long, 25 minutes." Stiles said, coming back from putting the batter in the oven. He wrapped his arms around Derek's waist, rested his hands on the underside of the bump taking some of the weight off and tucked his chin over Derek's shoulder with a sigh.

They were both expectant, too alert to go back to bed.

Any day now.

-

Deaton came in the backroom with a scalpel. Everything smelled of detergent and sanitizing alcohol, the scent burning at Derek's nose, giving him a headache.

He was in pain. Nothing unbearable but definitely not pleasant. It did compare to being tied up and electrocuted for hours.

He was tied up to the table. It felt wrong, his body wanting the sit, to crouch, to make way for the birth, except that couldn't happen this way with him.

So he was tied up, on his back on the table in the vet's clinic. Every instinct in him was screaming this was wrong, but he needed to trust Deaton on this. For all Deaton had meant to his mother and to her pack. He had to trust him.

Yet, there was a little bit of _am I coming out of this alive ?_ crawling under his skin.

Stiles was freaking out, smelled of nothing but anxiety and terror. The pack was outside in the dark night, Derek could hear, pacing and snapping at each other in fear. Just fear. Derek didn't want any fear. He didn't want his last moments on Earth to be in fear, didn't want the baby's first moments to be in fear.

Derek wanted Stiles to hold his hand and without even asking he felt fingers intertwining with his, warm and welcoming. Home in a brush of fingertips.

"I love you." Derek whispered softly.

"Don't say that." Stiles scowled. "We never say that when we think we might be dying !"

"Don't be scared. You won't be alone in this. The pack, the whole pack will be there. It'll be instinctual, you'll have so much help with babysitting you won't know how to get rid of them." Derek murmured like this was a big secret he didn't want anyone else to hear. Though he was pretty sure, the pack had their ears focused on what was happening inside.

"Don't say that. Derek. Just don't !"

"Don't call me that then. Call me anything, call me dude or babe, call me one of those thousands of stupid names you can come up with." Derek pleaded, just a little bit scared too.

"What ? You wanna hear me call you Pup Mommy ?"

"You can do better than that." Derek whispered in between sharp stabbing pains.

Stiles nodded, jaws clenched tight. "Yeah, you're right. I can. I'll tell you later. When you meet him."

"Whatever happens, Stiles, don't look. You're not scared of blood but - this is gonna so much worse - Just don't look." He could barely speak anymore.

Derek closed his eyes shut fighting the pain, it felt like something clawing at his insides. Pups weren't supposed to shift, not until they could at least walk. But who knew, maybe that was exactly what was happening. Trying to find a way out.

Deaton came closer. "We can't wait any longer. There's no way around it, Derek. This is not going to be a breeze."

"Just do it." He gritted out. Derek sent out a prayer to his ancestors. _Please please please let us be okay. For Stiles. For me._

"Believe with me." Stiles murmured in Derek's ear.

Derek felt himself shift, fight the restraints, he knew he was screaming, howling, but couldn't hear a thing over the sweet chant of _believe with me,_ _believe with me, believe with me_ and the gentle buzz and warmth coming off Stiles' hands and running through him.

Derek blacked out from the acute cutting pain and the feeling of blood spilling out, the tight grip of Stiles' fingers not enough to anchor him in the end.

"Oh God." He heard Stiles say brokenly and Derek knew, he knew he had looked.

He was falling through the heavy and deep void of darkness.

-

"Oh God." Stiles said. Shit, Deaton had cut one steady line and a line of blood escaped from the wound as Derek's flesh was exposed. 

"Stiles, I need you to come. He's healing too fast. I need to cut to the uterus before he heals." Deaton said, eyes fixed on the underside of Derek's bump, cutting again, faster and deeper this time.

Stiles was completely out of it. His hands were busy holding Derek. He was busy, he couldn't do anything more. He couldn't.

"Stiles!" 

Stiles' head snapped up. Red liquid spilling as Deaton cut again. The suction machine made for dogs could barely keep up. Yeah, Derek was one big ass dog. 

Deaton cut again on the freshly healed skin, shaking his head as the wound kept closing up.

"I need help and clearly that can't be you. Go get someone else. I need someone who isn't bonded to this alpha."

"What?" Stiles said unintelligibly. That made no sense, they were all bonded. They were a real pack. All the betas had been freaking out before the whole thing even started, as soon as Derek felt the first hint of pain. 

"I need to get the fetus out. Now." Deaton said. Something twisted in Stiles' insides when Deaton used that term. Stiles wanted to punch him the face for using that term. It wasn't right, it felt random, it felt cold, not the right word for his pup, his baby.

"Scott." Deaton said, his tone even but knowing full well Scott could hear him. "Get me Allison, or any human."

"What's happening?" Stiles looked around. Derek was out. Was he dead? Stiles could barely breathe, in and out. He looked at the cabinets, and the bottles of medicines, and the books, all of it becoming blurry. Fuck, he couldn't breathe. 

"Snap out of it Stiles!" Lydia said, stepping into the room, heels clicking on the hard tiled floor. She went to stand next to Deaton, handled the suction machine as all the clear amniotic fluid were being suck out through the tube, clearing the view as best as she could with lab sponges.

Stiles couldn't snap out of it. His hands were still holding Derek's limp fingers.

Deaton cut once again the line at the underside of Derek's stomach, blood again as he shoved his hand in. Blood flowing, Stiles hoped it meant Derek was alive. Stiles breathed. 

"Stiles come here!" Deaton's tone was demanding this time and Stiles' body reacted to it without his mind really catching on. 

He was next to the vet, his eyes not really focused on anything, not wanting to look at the gaping hole.

Suddenly, he had something in his hands. A towel. Heavy. 

Deaton was cutting again, again and again. It felt never-ending.

"Wha-" 

"We need to get the placenta out." Lydia chipped in, her presence warm next to him. She was covered in blood, her green sundress stained to the point of looking almost black. She had her forearms painted red and hands holding a bunch of blooded gauze, some were dropped on the floor, splatters everywhere.

"Yes and a human woman would have period-like bleeding for weeks after birth. If we let all that dead blood inside of him, it would rot his insides." Deaton said like this wasn't a disturbing and horrific image. 

"But-" So much blood.

Suddenly the towel he was holding moved. 

He looked down and... _oh._

He felt his legs give out. Stumbled backwards.

But he didn't fall, hands came and held him up, Scott was by his side in a second. Holding him close, hugging him. 

"You're okay, Stiles, you're both okay." Scott murmured hot against his ear. Scott's hand was on Stiles', helping him hold the towel, cradle it close. His fingers squeezing Stiles' as he said, "Breathe, Stiles. He needs you to breathe."

The air fought against it, didn't want to flow in, came in shaking and writhing, still it managed to fill his lungs. Tears spilling out his eyes, stinging.

"That's it, breathe." Scott commanded again, he was almost using his alpha voice but not quite.

Stiles didn't know how long he focused on breathing there in Scott's arms. It felt like an eternity and like no time at all at the same time.

"We're done." Deaton said from the back of the room, where he was washing his hands in the metal sink.

Stiles stared at him, holding his breath yet again, waiting this time, waiting for a next sentence or something more meaningful than "we're done." Fuck, nothing felt done here. 

"Derek's still alive." Lydia told him.

All the air in Stiles' lungs rushed out all at once.

"For now." Deaton added, drying his hands on a clean towel.

That was good enough. For now. Stiles looked down again at the towel in his arms, and the small baby inside, a little gooey and a little bloody, but so so incredibly perfect.

-

In the morning, Stiles finally settled on his bed, next to Derek's still unconscious body. He was extremely pale, but he was alive. Stiles focused on that.

Scott had cleaned and covered Derek. Lifted him to the car, drove home and carried him up the stairs. He even tucked him into bed.

Stiles had felt pretty much useless, but for the one important task he had, still had, right here held in his arms. 

He couldn't stop looking at him, asleep. He had been been awake a little while and then fell asleep for hours. Deaton said it was to be expected, normal, after the exertion of birth. He too needed his rest.

Stiles picked up his phone, he had a phone call to give a special someone who he hadn't exactly told what was going on yet.

"Dad, hi." Stiles spoke quietly as to not disturb the peaceful stillness around.

"Hey, kid. It's a little early -"

"I don't think I'm going to come into work today." He continued, whisper quiet, tears sneaking their way to the corner of his eyes as he swallowed. "How would you feel about being called grandpa?"

There was silence on the other side of the line. He hoped his dad wasn't having a heart attack right now.

"I'm gonna need your help, Dad."

"Anything you need."

-

Derek tried to open his eyes. He registered the soft feeling of a mattress under his body. Not the cold metallic table from the vet's clinic. The air smelled of home.

A groan escaped him, he ached, from everywhere. He tried to open his eyes again. 

He heard creaks on the floor, reminding him of the sound of a wooden rocking chair swinging back as someone stood up, the same sound the rocking chair in his grandmother's room used to do when she read him stories on Sunday mornings.

"Babe, oh God, Derek, Derek, you're awake ? Are you awake ?"

He could hear Stiles' heart skyrocket, he wanted to tell him _yes, I'm here, I'm still here_ but he could barely manage a grumble. Stiles started kissing him, peppering kisses all over his face, his hair. 

"Hey..." Derek croaked.

"Hi !" Stiles' smile as the first thing Derek saw.

He thought about it then. He frowned as his hand dropped to his stomach and felt the thick ripples of scar tissue on his abdomen, scars for every time Deaton had to cut to re-open him and fight the too quick healing. It might take a while for them to disappear, though he wouldn't mind if they stayed, Derek thought.

"How is-"

"He's perfect." Stiles said. "Deaton did a full check up. Everything is perfect."

"Good." Derek replied automatically, mind still hazy.

Stiles went to get him the small bottle of water he had set on the bedside table. He had prepared everything, as if knowing that Derek would eventually wake up.

"My dad managed to get us a birth certificate. He wasn't thrilled but we faked a surrogacy contract so we could put both our names on it. My dad doesn't have pack instincts but he does have a lot of grandpa instincts, it seems. That's where we are. I just kept myself busy, you know. And the little one kept me busy. Getting everything ready. We were just waiting for you. We needed you to find him a name. We needed you. I needed you." He ended in hardly a whisper, but Derek didn't have to focus to be so acutely aware of his voice. He had thought he would never hear that voice again. It was the most beautiful voice.

Derek sighed, with relief and something else he didn't quite know. "How long was I out ?"

Stiles scratched the back of his neck nervously. "About a week. It was pretty bad..." He said, scrunching up his nose, before taking a slow steadying breath. "You did good though. And you're here."

Derek could smell the distress coming off of Stiles just at the memory, his heart pounding just a little louder. 

"You wanna meet your son ?" Stiles asked, smiling, eyes definitely wet.

Derek was glad for the change of subject, they'll have time to deal with all the rest and God, yes he wanted that very much.

He just stared, dazed, as Stiles walked to the door where Scott was standing holding a little bundle of blankets, surrounded by all the betas. Stiles took the little bundle delicately in his arms and walked back toward him and sat down carefully right next to him. Touching.

"Oh." Derek breathed, taking in the most beautiful sight his eyes had ever landed on. All soft skin, a small upturned nose and a head of light hair. He looked like Stiles. He stirred awake, tiny fingers stretching out, his mouth opened in a crooked yawn, tiny lip pointing upward.

Derek was truly and madly in love for the second time in his life.

Stiles leaned down to kiss Derek's temple and murmured, "Hello, papa, this is baby boy Hale."

**Author's Note:**

> Proceed with caution : angst, somewhat graphic description of blood and c-section (not very detailed as I am not a doctor), panic attack.
> 
> There's a happy ending though.
> 
> This fic isn't so so bad. what do you guys think ?
> 
> If you enjoyed the story, consider leaving a kudo/comment.  
> Find me on [tumblr](https://fairydustedtheory.tumblr.com/tagged/plot%20twist%20:%20i%20write)


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